opening

The dictionary on my laptop offers many definitions of opening: 1 an opening in the center of the roof: hole, gap, aperture, orifice, vent;peephole; split, crack, fissure, cleft, crevice, chink, slit.  2 the opening in the wall: doorway, gateway, portal, entrance, (means of) entry, entryway, way in, (means of) access; way out, exit, egress.

My approach to opening deals with possibilities – moving through a metaphorical doorway, from one state of being to another.  This can be accomplished in different ways.  I recall Goldstein and Kornfield, in their book on meditation, “Seeking the Heart of Wisdom,” stating mediation opens us to that which is closed.

My primary work is social relationships where openings occur through conversation, and interaction. Sometimes exchange is intentional, and structured – sometimes spontaneous, sometimes both.  Nevertheless, when we dialogue we travel together.  Where the talking and listening started, took us somewhere else.  We pass through an opening.  What fosters openings?

Otto Scharmer’s ideas in his book, “Theory U,” deserve our attention.  In pages 11 through 13 (and elsewhere) he denotes “four basic types of listening.”

The first type he calls, “downloading.”  The essence of this type of listening is habit.  In other words, my habitual thinking just says, “Yeah, I know this already,” and that is as far as it goes.  The second type he calls, “object-focused,” or “factual.” In his description of this type he uses the word “attending.”  Having used this work myself for sometime, I take it to mean to be “present to,” what is being shared.  However, this level of listening lacks depth.  This is so as we are “hearing,” from where we are — my judgments, inner filters, ME.  The third type of listening Scharmer offers is deeper and most present in psychotherapy and high level process consultation.  The root of this type is empathy.  In fact he refers to it as “empathic listening.”  Empathia means to “feel with,” the speaker.  The old adage, “walk a mile in his shoes,” carries this notion. Finally, the fourth type of listening he calls “generative listening.”  We move beyond empathy to “communion,” or “grace.”  We may be speaking, but listening is beyond words.  It is an energetic exchange or dance between or amongst souls.

I believe the third and fourth levels of listening cultivate opening.  In my work, I often invite clients to risk their truth (inner life) with myself or other(s).  When one does this, one feels, heard, seen and validated by the listener — this “opening,”  often leads to healing and intimacy.  And, this would be at Scharmer’s third type or level.  Intimacy as an outcome equals closeness, affinity, leading to trust.

Finally it is Scharmer’s fourth level of listening, “generative listening,” that fosters what one of my old psychologist friends called “organismic,” change — meaning the whole (body, mind, and soul — individiually and collectively).  Let us support Otto Scharmer and his colleagues efforts to deepen the expansion of these ideas and they’re living enactment.

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